Decisiveness and the killer instinct

Decisiveness is a quality that is almost always important, often essential.
Indecisiveness is more often a problem than over-decisiveness.
Over-decisiveness: deciding too fast, too early, without due consideration. Acting impulsive of even involuntary. Jumping.

Every decision is a choice, but not every choice is a decision. A decision is a choice with real-world consequences. The more important those consequences, the heavier the decision.

To marry is a decision. Sometimes it is the choice between two or even more possible partners. Almost always it is the choice between marrying or not marrying a partner or possible partner. When the woman is pregnant, that decision has more consequences, as there is a child involved - or at least a possible child.

A decision is a conscious choice. We consider the alternatives. Often one alternative is more known and the other less known. We know our present job, though we never know for sure what will happen when we continue. The possible new job is even less known. And how many possible jobs are out there?

Whatever we choose, we cut off all other possibilities, at least for now. If we choose our holiday destination, we say no to all other destinations - including staying at home. When we choose a life partner, we say no to all other possible partners we ever met, or may still meet. Saying YES to one thing, means saying NO to all other options.

To be decisive is to go in focused, rather than fritter away energy and time sitting on the fence of many possibilities.
So the power of decision is the power to say YES, but even more the power to say NO.
In addictions the power to say No is leaking.

A decision ends uncertainty. But it opens new uncertainties: about the consequences. There is almost always the possibility of collateral damage. And how can we compare those with the unknown consequences of the alternatives we didn’t take? We can only estimate, guess.

The opposite of decisiveness is lingering doubt. Decisiveness seems a virtue, doubt seems a weakness. But without doubts we act blind, instinctive - or just foolish. A good decision overcomes doubts, does not avoid doubts.

When the first spermatozoa enters the egg, all the thousands of other sperm cells are condemned to die - though sometimes a close second will make it too. To be decisive means to be able to jump, without knowing the future fully. When we take one important step, we kill off alternative histories. We kill off all alternative futures of ourselves - and we prune (sometimes considerably) the alternative futures of people around us.

So, when you are decisive, you are a killer. Only one future survives.
When you are indecisive you are also a killer, a slow, gradual killer of possibilities.
To decide properly we need to learn how to be ruthless, how to kill the unborn alternatives.

For decision we need courage.
For a good decision we need wisdom.
Courage and wisdom are two of the fundamental success factors in work and life. When we have them, we only need to pray for good-luck, the third universal success factor.

The fear of the indecisive is to get stuck, to lose options, to lose freedom. Or to lose ease and familiarity.
As Machiavelli already quoted: The Lady Fortune favors the bold.

If you read texts like this you are rather a thinker than a doer. You probably will rather decide too slow than too quick - though even usually hesitant people may sometimes blindly rush in where angels fear to tread.
So work on your wisdom and especially on your courage. Learn from your mistakes. By the way, were they really mistakes? And, more important, were they really yours?
And pray to the goddess. Preferably Athena. (Again: a choice!)

In constellation work we often find that an apology, at least a recognition is needed to the person not chosen, to ‘the road not taken.’ The more we respectfully decline and say goodbye to the roads not taken, the more we bless the road taken.

A thoughtful decison-maker is a killer, though an attentive, affable one.

Decisiveness

Decisiveness is the third aspect of Personal Mastery. I consider it also a key aspect of leadership, the others being Presence and Vision. John Kennedy wrote already in Profiles of Courage that will is a most elusive power.
I remember many meetings in which explicitly and formally common decisions were reached - that were never executed. And, of course, some things are simply done, even when no decision has officially been taken. We know that also from our personal lives. Many plans, many decisions are never put into practice, while we do all kinds of things on impulse, both bad and good. We have truly systematically analyzed which car is the best for us or what house would be the ideal choice. and then we buy an other car, rent an other house. Decisions are the product of ratio, of emotion and of will. Decisiveness is the quality to end thinking and feeling and to go for something.
Why is decisiveness more rare than indecisiveness? Because decision commits us to the outcome of the decisions. Decisions are fateful. They will be seen and felt as our decisions. We ourselves are on the line, our reputation, our money, our future. We may succeed - and we may fail. Decisiveness separates the men from the boys - and the women from the girls. Strong men tremble before straightforward commitments like marriage and kids. I am not ready for a steady relationship yet. Those people never will.

There are several methodologies to avoid decisions. The first is smothering everything in vague wordings in which actions are hidden and actors even more. Political bureaucracies are full of avoidance behavior. To fail, especially conspicuously, is the fate worse than death. If a company is ailing, find out which managers didn't make mistakes in the last 3-5 years. Then fire them all.
The second methodology is to hide behind authorities, like the quotes of famous people or the reports of overpaid consultants.
The third methodology is to go to astrologers, psychics or consult other forms of divination.

Whatever the merits and demerits of these methods, there is no escape from responsibility. Even the decision-maker who delays, vacillates, hangs his ears to others, has to decide to delay and vacillate. Even when decisions are taken in a group, someone decided or allowed that the decision should be taken by a group.
I have met several directors who were intellectually or constitutionally unable to make decisions. They simply ended the meeting. Not once, but several times. Till they drove their people crazy. The only people who don't go crazy because of an indecisive boss are the ones who were crazy already.
Indecisiveness is the worst form of impotence. Worse still, it is highly contagious, which the other kind of impotence isn't.

There is this side of the universe no method to educate and change those who have made dodging responsibility and accountability into an art form. Someone has to kick ass, the most primitive form of decisiveness known to man.
There must be in hell a special corner for members of supervisory boards who maintain an indecisive executive. Now I think of it, there must be many corners.

Courage without wisdom becomes recklessness. Wisdom without courage becomes cowardice. Of course, sometimes we should not decide, that is, we should decide to wait and see. For the moment. Our first two aspects of Personal Mastery are necessary to prevent decisiveness degenerating in blind and feverish chaotic actions. Clear-mindedness and Equanimity, remember!

What helps to be decisive? A clear mission. A clear role. Mental and physical health. A good energy level. Spirit.
Don't try to make people more decisive. Give them clear roles in an organization with a clear mission. And look for drive and energy when hiring them - unless they lack common sense and some calm. And for God's sake, give them a decisive boss.