Decisiveness and the killer instinct

Decisiveness is a quality that is almost always important, often essential.
Indecisiveness is more often a problem than over-decisiveness.
Over-decisiveness: deciding too fast, too early, without due consideration. Acting impulsive of even involuntary. Jumping.

Every decision is a choice, but not every choice is a decision. A decision is a choice with real-world consequences. The more important those consequences, the heavier the decision.

To marry is a decision. Sometimes it is the choice between two or even more possible partners. Almost always it is the choice between marrying or not marrying a partner or possible partner. When the woman is pregnant, that decision has more consequences, as there is a child involved - or at least a possible child.

A decision is a conscious choice. We consider the alternatives. Often one alternative is more known and the other less known. We know our present job, though we never know for sure what will happen when we continue. The possible new job is even less known. And how many possible jobs are out there?

Whatever we choose, we cut off all other possibilities, at least for now. If we choose our holiday destination, we say no to all other destinations - including staying at home. When we choose a life partner, we say no to all other possible partners we ever met, or may still meet. Saying YES to one thing, means saying NO to all other options.

To be decisive is to go in focused, rather than fritter away energy and time sitting on the fence of many possibilities.
So the power of decision is the power to say YES, but even more the power to say NO.
In addictions the power to say No is leaking.

A decision ends uncertainty. But it opens new uncertainties: about the consequences. There is almost always the possibility of collateral damage. And how can we compare those with the unknown consequences of the alternatives we didn’t take? We can only estimate, guess.

The opposite of decisiveness is lingering doubt. Decisiveness seems a virtue, doubt seems a weakness. But without doubts we act blind, instinctive - or just foolish. A good decision overcomes doubts, does not avoid doubts.

When the first spermatozoa enters the egg, all the thousands of other sperm cells are condemned to die - though sometimes a close second will make it too. To be decisive means to be able to jump, without knowing the future fully. When we take one important step, we kill off alternative histories. We kill off all alternative futures of ourselves - and we prune (sometimes considerably) the alternative futures of people around us.

So, when you are decisive, you are a killer. Only one future survives.
When you are indecisive you are also a killer, a slow, gradual killer of possibilities.
To decide properly we need to learn how to be ruthless, how to kill the unborn alternatives.

For decision we need courage.
For a good decision we need wisdom.
Courage and wisdom are two of the fundamental success factors in work and life. When we have them, we only need to pray for good-luck, the third universal success factor.

The fear of the indecisive is to get stuck, to lose options, to lose freedom. Or to lose ease and familiarity.
As Machiavelli already quoted: The Lady Fortune favors the bold.

If you read texts like this you are rather a thinker than a doer. You probably will rather decide too slow than too quick - though even usually hesitant people may sometimes blindly rush in where angels fear to tread.
So work on your wisdom and especially on your courage. Learn from your mistakes. By the way, were they really mistakes? And, more important, were they really yours?
And pray to the goddess. Preferably Athena. (Again: a choice!)

In constellation work we often find that an apology, at least a recognition is needed to the person not chosen, to ‘the road not taken.’ The more we respectfully decline and say goodbye to the roads not taken, the more we bless the road taken.

A thoughtful decison-maker is a killer, though an attentive, affable one.